I
usually keep my family affairs pretty separate from my business. Today,
I feel the need to change that. I spent so many years using a talent as
a pastime. Never really knowing or believing that building a business
could be a reality. Never really knowing it could fill my soul the way
that it has. This thing started small, with very casual expectation but
it quickly challenged me to dig deep. I have always struggled with how
to take care of my family while taking care of me. I know this is a
common thread among Mommies absolutely everywhere. ESD has allowed me to
realize that I could do both. I
feel so fortunate!! I am constantly learning, being challenged and
doing something I love. I have the BEST clients that I absolutely
adore!! However, today I sat in mass with my family and realized how
much has changed over the past few months and when I wear my "business
owner" hat I have been trying to pretend that it hasn't.
So, here is my family and here is a little bit of our story.
On
April 6th of this year my family walked into church. My oldest son was
leading and he wanted to sit in the front row. We usually sit in the
same area and its more towards the back of the chapel, never in the
front. We went along with it and didn't think much of it. As mass went
on and the sermon was in full force I realized it was no-coincidence
that we were front and center. The Priest was giving a sermon about a
Cincinnati woman that had just lost her battle to Leukemia. He talked
about all the wonderful things she did for our community and how her
family had said she truly started living after her diagnosis. He went
into more detail to express the importance of enjoying the now. How
giving, not receiving is what makes you feel more alive. There was no
irony in the fact that my husband had a 3:00pm appointment with an
oncologist the very next day to find out if he was being diagnosed with
Leukemia or not. I think we both knew as we sat there in mass... this is
how God needed to tell us. I don't remember those next few weeks. I
walked around numb, feeling like I couldn't breath. My big strong
husband who always takes care of everyone was shaking constantly from
fear. I didn't know how to help him. In the blink of an eye everything
looked different. There were many emotions that came with this diagnosis
and many things that have become our new normal. Our friends and family
have wrapped their arms around us and carried us when we needed them
too. We are figuring it out. We are standing tall. We are praying for
the best. We are living for the now.
My
reason for sharing this with all of you: While I helped my husband and
my family figure out how to move forward, I reverted back to not knowing
how to help me. Just for a little bit. My business has been successful
because my clients feel my enthusiasm, my integrity, know how important
they are to me. Those qualities have not been shining thru as much over
the past few months. I can't apologize because it had to be this way but
I feel bad it did. The good news is, I have found my groove again. It looks a little bit different. Maybe even a little bit better...
